


if you still care dont ever let me know

by kinestheticpariah



Series: Variations on Mormonstuck [6]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Break Up, Cutting, Depression, F/M, M/M, Mormonism, Mormonstuck, References to Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-24
Updated: 2013-01-24
Packaged: 2017-11-26 16:36:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/652265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinestheticpariah/pseuds/kinestheticpariah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>dave should probably cut john some slack, because being a gay mormon is hard,<br/>but damnit this fucking hurts</p>
            </blockquote>





	if you still care dont ever let me know

**Author's Note:**

> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aVFLSud3x8

EB: and i know it’s really lame to break up with someone via pesterchum...   
EB: but really man i just...   
EB: i can’t see you anymore ok?   
EB: i can’t keep getting punched in the gut in the bathroom after sacrament meeting.   
EB: i'm so sorry, dave.   
\-- ectoBiologist[EB] blocked turntechGodhead [TG] \--

  
god  
damn it  
 _no no no_  
you exit the pesterchum app on your phone, switch over to contacts,  
let your thumb hover over the little green phone next to john’s name,  
and then  
 _shovethephonetoyourfuckingearandletitringgoddamnitjohnpickupfuckingpickup_  
one ring.  
 _johnisweartogodpickupisweartofuckinggodjohnpleasejohnnodontdothis_  
two rings.  
 _fuckjohngoddamnitpleasejohnineedyou_  
three rings.  
 _johniknowyourethereiknowyoucanseemecallingyoualwayshaveyourgoddamnphone_  
four rings.  
 _johnnonononothiscantbehappening_  
a fifth ring and then...  
  
“hello! this is john egbert. i can’t come to the phone now, sorry, but, hey! leave a message and i’ll call you back or text you or something! unless you’re a vacuum salesman or something, i really don’t need a vacuum sorry.”  
 _beep._  
you’re fucking sobbing  
you’ve fallen onto the floor  
all dignity is fucking gone  
out the window  
dead on the concrete 100 floors below  
you are the least dignified being in existence right now  
on the floor of your bedroom  
sobbing onto the hard floor  
and you can’t even speak  
all you can fucking say is  
“john please john....john no....no oh god no.....john john john john please....please...”  
in this whisper-scream combination  
and your throat feels like it’s closing up  
and you’re sobbing and you don’t give a shit  
and if bro walks in here you’re fuckin’ dead  
  
“oh no!”  
you look up and there’s roxy  
bless her goddamn soul  
she kneels down next to you  
kisses the top of your head  
holds you close  
your face is in her tits but you don’t give much of a fuck you’re just  
crying  
and shaking  
and _god why is this happening_  
just a few days ago you were sleeping in his arms  
and now this  
godfuckingdamnit  
  
“oh davey.....”  
she’s rubbing your back  
and in a few minutes she’ll probably leave  
sob in her room  
wish there was more she could do  
curse herself for not being as helpful as rose  
and everyone in this family is just so broken  
and this is going to make it worse  
and you’re angry and betrayed and just  
why the fuck  
is this happening to you


End file.
